Spam

Okay, I’m sure that I’m not the only one to get Spam. If you use a computer, you are bound to receive Spam. Many go directly to my Spam folder but, every now and then, one makes it way into my regular inbox.

Just to give you an example of what I received this, the first one is from Adult Affairs Network Ad-Partners (whoever they are) and the Subject line says, New Girlfriend Took Pics For You.  Really? Just for me? I’m honored. Of course, when you open the email, they want you to click on their link, which, of course, will probably set a virus loose on your computer and rob your various bank accounts.

The second email, from buss345 (what a strange name), has a special deal on Viagra. Little do they know that I have prostate cancer and can’t take any of those little blue pills. The third email says, I don’t believe my eyes! Strangely enough, in the From column, it shows that it is from none other than me, as in Michael Jennings. Interesting, as I don’t recall having sent anything to myself lately. When I opened the email, sure enough, there was a link just waiting for me to click on it. Do they take me for a fool? I only open things that are sent from the Nigerian government. You know, promising me free money. Either from an inheritance from an unknown individual, or I won their version of the lottery. Hey, free money is free money. Click.

The fourth email, from none other than Ashlie, says in the subject line, Fwd … (12) new pics. Upon opening the email, I’m greeted with, Here is the link to the pic's you asked me for.... Strange, as I don’t recall asking Ashlie for any pics. Now it makes me wonder if I’m not developing some form of early on-set dementia.

And this just in from Allexis: HOW TO: Please Your Woman (Graphic Video). If it’s that “graphic,” I think I’ll pass. I hate sexual violence. Along the same line, I got this one from GetNaughty with the subject line being: Singles you are up for a flirt tonight? I think I’ll pass on that one. I’m too tired to flirt or be flirted with. Try in the morning when I’m fully awake.

Of course I receive a number of emails willing to lend me money even though I have a low credit score. Actually, I have, fortunately, a credit score of 840. Of course they don’t want to pay to check my credit score before sending me those “unbelievable” offers to lend me money that I don’t need.

And lastly, this one came from my good friend Allison (whoever she is): I sent you my new pics. Probably just pics from her recent vacation, huh? I think I’ll pass on her pics too. Unless, of course, she is posing in her teeny, weeny, yellow poka-dot bikini.

There are two things I’ve noticed about these various spam emails. First, their grammar and spelling are both atrocious. Secondly, a number of the emails appear to be from student’s educational accounts … as in college. Hey, one has to pay for that college education somehow, don’t they?

Okay, after writing the above (and posting it), I've just received another email in my spam folder. This one purports to be directly from Dr. Oz (imagine that). I feel so blessed that he would write personally to me. His subject, dear (and fear) to all men as they get older is, Whats the Shocking #1 Natural Trick to Killing E. D? I'm guessing, and this is only my best guess, would be death. That would definitely kill any all E. D.